The Aim of This Blog

Hi again~

So today I felt really stressed out and retarded, so I decided to write bout this, the aim of this blog, and what my title means in this post. Happy days :D

So. This morning I had three things to remember. Report. Bibliography. And Handout. Of those three things. I managed to remember t print off only one of them. Don't ask me HOW I forgot the other two since they were all linked, I just did. Right now I'm rubbing my temples at the epitome of idiocy shown in this morning. I have this problem. This reallllly REEAAALLLLLLY big problem which kinda restricts me. I am lazy. AS FUCK. Like you may say, 'Oh no you're not, you're like... really hyperactive!'. I mean when it comes to work. I'm hyperactive, physically, but when it comes to work, my mind just blanks out, I get this blank expression on my face, and then I start to ponder about my life. Then I snap back into reality. For a second, and then go back and sink into this mine of thoughts and reflect and mine out those thoughts from my head. Like this blog, all I'm doing is - hypothetically speaking- is mining out those thoughts, and transferring them onto my this blog. And then you guys read it. And then I write with this really blank expression on my face and sometimes don't even process half of the things I say on this blog. Sometimes something stupid slips out of my mind. But that's just me. And you guys know me, I'm that really fast acting hyperactive dwarf who goes around doing hyperactivities. :P.
Oh a second note on that. Dong Hoon, All I've ever really been is just jealous of you. You may feel like, because your parents made you grow up without a computer, or phone, or the things I take for granted, you have really good study habits. I don't. And I'm jealous of that. I know I said before, I don't want to spend my life waiting around for my test results, just so I can go do another one, but what I mean is. I don't want to do that, because I know I'll fail - rather epically- and then get pushed around by my parents, get called names. Get judging looks from my friends when I say 'Shit. My assignment' and watch it happen to me all over again. Every day of my life. And It hurts. And I hate it. That's why I want out. Living a sheltered life under my roof, with all my things I take for granted, because of that, my life now crumbles around me. Whereas yours, although seemingly restricted and bad at times, you have a good time at school. You have proper friends. And you succeed. And that's why I hate you.

On a more positive note, the aim of this blog. So. Let's make things clear here. I'm not just here to spite the guy who basically made me close down my blog because I hated him so much and I wanted him to die because he was being a dick about my old blog. No. It's nothing like that. I'm here, to say the things I never would have said in my older blog. That past blog was my emotional crutch. But I also created an image that I didn't want. I unintentionally created this image which forced me into a corner, eventuall breaking me. You can see this in the last few posts, how desperate I was getting.
To make it a bit easier to understand, let's say.... That old blog was like my cocoon. Restrictive, uncomfortable, and very easy to break. This one is like a butterfly, slightly more vulnerable, but much more beautiful (not really) and much more freedom. That's why I think I actually like this blog better, because even though I only have a few people reading this blog at a time, they don't judge. They don't point fingers and say 'That was stupid'. They read. And they leave. And they come back again.
They watch the butterfly. And the butterfly flies away. Much more freedom. Much more happiness.

And finally, as a smaller paragraph. The title of this blog. Over the Rainbow and Under the Hill. What does that mean? It makes slightly more sense in my head than it does in yours most likely XD

Somwhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Lyrics from the Song 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow'. http://www.youtube.com/watch?

 v=PSZxmZmBfn Go watch this. I <3 it.

But yes, the part of the title was based on this song. I can relate. I want to get away from this place. I want to wish, and have my dreams become my reality. I want to be my own world. That's why this part of the title is based on this song.

Well, I'm the same kid I was
Out in the schoolyard

Hallowed my pockets with sticks
From the parking lot
Alone

Though I walked alone
I was sure there was somebody
There on my shoulder, quietly guiding me
Home

I counted to 1000, 2000, and even
Math game and nicknames for friends
That I rarely meet
But years roll along, along so graciously
And so gracefully we age into infinity
On

Lyrics from the song A House Under the Hill. Once again. Something just pulled me to this song. And then I realised. I felt like I kind of knew what this song was talking about. My Primary school life wasn't exactly the most spectacular life. I certainly hated nearly every single moment of my years from Year 2~6. And I just. Cried when I first heard this song.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96BO8YJsMyo Go have a listen.

Y'all be well now
-J <3

*Edit I edited it because it was kinda hard to see the lyrics. So, sorry (^^;)