For all of those who have really shitty parents out there.
This is a post for you.
As a child, I used to be abused by my parents alot. Getting hit around by my mum for not being able to learn 8 x 7 at year two, getting hit by an abacus because my dad decided he would have a drunken rage, literally thrown out of the house for a while because my test results weren't satisfactory ( I got one easy question wrong), and having my hair pulled out. I'm not saying these things to try and make your problems with your parents look smaller, or insignificant. In fact, I think your problems are probably much worse than mine. I'm saying these things so that you know I understand how you feel. I know what it feels like to have your parents insult you at every little turn. They can be really nice to you at times, but then be a complete bitch in another. I know what it feels like. I once considered suicide because my mum was telling me how shit a child I was because I couldn't write neatly (she saw my friend's writing book, and then I countered with, you should see other people's writing, then she slapped me and said that who cares, there's a neater one in front of you you piece of shit). I hated nearly every waking moment, and dreaded each afterschool hour, for fear that the abuse and insults would come hurtling by again. But what I did wrong was very painfully obvious after. And I know, that my parents are hurling abuse at me, because that's just the only way they know how to discipline me, so that's why they keep calling me names, in the vain hope that the message will get through.
Now, I understand, by some words, the parent's aren't always hurling insults because you're doing something majorly wrong. I heard that sometimes they just get frustrated. And I don't know if that's the case with all of them, but sometimes, life for the parents is hard, and it goes down a shithole as well. Perhaps he had an off day, and you just got caught out badly, or maybe he's just angry over something. But I think the best thing we can do for them at that time, is to avoid them, and give them space, or try to make them feel better.
I'm by no means a good boy. It can be very easily argued that I'm perhaps one of the worst children a parent could have (come live invisibly in my house for two weeks and you'll know what I'm talking about. My Friend-Me relationship habits and my House/Parents-Me relationship habits are completely different). But there is one thing that my parents always tell me I can do. And that's understand. Even if so many times over, I get the message, but don't execute an action to fix my mistake, after my initial fit of anger at the words they hurl at me, I understand what they are trying to do for me.
Our parents have a time limit on this earth, as do we. But their only goal in life, after they have kids, is to hope that they can shape their kid into a success. Not only for themselves, but so the child isn't ignored, and dismissed. They want' the best for their child, and maybe they're not the best at explaining what they want from their child. Some parents are afraid to talk to their children about things like that. But most of all, they love us. And In turn, the best we can do for them is to understand, and try the best we can, until the inevitable cycle is closed, and yours slowly fades too.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try...
To fix you...
Yall my greatest friends.
Thanks. :)
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