Anyone know where to buy a Leather Jacket in Civic? Pretty Please? :)
Monday, November 25, 2013
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Bwahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa Whee! Happeh Fun Timez!
YELLO EVARYBADY!
I am back. Not that I was gone anywhere, just..... Yeah you know
So I haven't really been paying attention to this blog. And that's for two reasons.
1) I needed some actual good material to write down, because I can't just go ahead and write shit down now D: Like, even if I tried to sit down and force myself to write something, undoubtedly it would have come out as this jumbled mess of emotion, random poetry, and raging at parents! It helps when you're really in a 'blogging' mood because then everything flows so much more easily! :D
P.s I quit on writing the second part of mum raging. For
1a) My memory forgot half of the rest of the rage because I just said 'Fuck it'.
1b) No more raging and stuff. :P
2) I just didn't feel like it. It was great fun just not really caring about things, but now everything feels... different. I've grown a little bit taller for one :P And now the Korean Adults around me are actually starting to treat me much more differently than they used to. Everything feels so formal. And suddenly, I feel a lot more pressure and responsibility. I also however, feel like there are now some restrictions I have to place on myself, in order to 'conform' (*Shudder* I hate that word) with society.
Speaking of 'Formal' that also brings me to another thing. Now I've heard lots of people around me shouting and singing about formal and 'Oh how pretty this dress or suit' was, but wow. I really did not expect such a reaction when I told my mum 'I'm wearing jeans to formal'. Now, hush, if you're currently shouting at the screen, 'YOU'RE WEARING JEANS TO FORMAL??!?!?!', because if you are, post your address down in the comments below and I'll come and snap your neck for you :).
I have no idea why people are getting so psyched up about formal wear, nor can I understand why people are going out of their way to dress up for an occasion. The thing is, I'm in this period, and will be for the next half a year or so, where I'm growing rapidly. And truth be told, I'm probably not going to wear a suit (If I buy one) more than once, then I'm going to have to chuck it away. So no point in me buying a suit anyway. And besides. It's just a Year 10 Formal. Sure it's a pretty (small) big deal, ladela it's like a very big social, except just for Year 10's blah blah, OMG we're graduating.
Ok let me get my thoughts straight.
1) Why is everyone so tight about formal wear? My mum made the argument that 'It's called formal because you have to wear something formal there or they'll kick you out'. And I kinda just said ' Mum... If it's going to be like that, what's the point of me paying 160 dollars so I HAVE to wear a suit to what might be a hot canberran night?'. Does it say anywhere that I HAVE to wear a suit? Does it say anywhere that I CAN'T wear what I want there? Is there some kind of smallprint that says you'll get kicked out if you're not wearing 'Proper attire'? No! So I think I have every single right to wear WHATEVER I want to formal, and NOBODY should be complaining about it. HECK If I wanted to I could wear PYJAMAS to formal. My Point is, if I'm saying I want to wear Jeans to formal, then none of you should be trying to stop me. If I get embarrassed, then I get embarrassed. You people don't get hurt. So don't interfere :)
2) What goes well with Black Jeans?
C Yall
Happeh Fun Timez
I am back. Not that I was gone anywhere, just..... Yeah you know
So I haven't really been paying attention to this blog. And that's for two reasons.
1) I needed some actual good material to write down, because I can't just go ahead and write shit down now D: Like, even if I tried to sit down and force myself to write something, undoubtedly it would have come out as this jumbled mess of emotion, random poetry, and raging at parents! It helps when you're really in a 'blogging' mood because then everything flows so much more easily! :D
P.s I quit on writing the second part of mum raging. For
1a) My memory forgot half of the rest of the rage because I just said 'Fuck it'.
1b) No more raging and stuff. :P
2) I just didn't feel like it. It was great fun just not really caring about things, but now everything feels... different. I've grown a little bit taller for one :P And now the Korean Adults around me are actually starting to treat me much more differently than they used to. Everything feels so formal. And suddenly, I feel a lot more pressure and responsibility. I also however, feel like there are now some restrictions I have to place on myself, in order to 'conform' (*Shudder* I hate that word) with society.
Speaking of 'Formal' that also brings me to another thing. Now I've heard lots of people around me shouting and singing about formal and 'Oh how pretty this dress or suit' was, but wow. I really did not expect such a reaction when I told my mum 'I'm wearing jeans to formal'. Now, hush, if you're currently shouting at the screen, 'YOU'RE WEARING JEANS TO FORMAL??!?!?!', because if you are, post your address down in the comments below and I'll come and snap your neck for you :).
I have no idea why people are getting so psyched up about formal wear, nor can I understand why people are going out of their way to dress up for an occasion. The thing is, I'm in this period, and will be for the next half a year or so, where I'm growing rapidly. And truth be told, I'm probably not going to wear a suit (If I buy one) more than once, then I'm going to have to chuck it away. So no point in me buying a suit anyway. And besides. It's just a Year 10 Formal. Sure it's a pretty (small) big deal, ladela it's like a very big social, except just for Year 10's blah blah, OMG we're graduating.
Ok let me get my thoughts straight.
1) Why is everyone so tight about formal wear? My mum made the argument that 'It's called formal because you have to wear something formal there or they'll kick you out'. And I kinda just said ' Mum... If it's going to be like that, what's the point of me paying 160 dollars so I HAVE to wear a suit to what might be a hot canberran night?'. Does it say anywhere that I HAVE to wear a suit? Does it say anywhere that I CAN'T wear what I want there? Is there some kind of smallprint that says you'll get kicked out if you're not wearing 'Proper attire'? No! So I think I have every single right to wear WHATEVER I want to formal, and NOBODY should be complaining about it. HECK If I wanted to I could wear PYJAMAS to formal. My Point is, if I'm saying I want to wear Jeans to formal, then none of you should be trying to stop me. If I get embarrassed, then I get embarrassed. You people don't get hurt. So don't interfere :)
2) What goes well with Black Jeans?
C Yall
Happeh Fun Timez
Monday, November 11, 2013
Seeing the World Through Other's Eyes. Mainly Mine.
So, me and my mum had another row yesterday. Not too surprising.But one thing that keeps recurring is me, arguing whether my mum isn't being a hypocrite, and whether she needs to calm down. Now I know you'll probably never hear my mum's side of the story, so I'm going to tell my side, to paint myself in a better light.
Never a day goes past in the Lee Household without the familiar screaming of two voices. Mine and my mother's. Now, in my mother's defence, usually, I fuck up sometime during the afterschool. But Honestly, I think she just wants to have a go at me. Either way, me and my mum are constantly rowing. And usually it ends up with me being hit, having to apologise for what I think is something rather unnecessary to get mad at, and my mother getting really pissed off for however long until bedtime. Now let us observe this rather interesting argument from Sunday night.So, I have this rather messy/not really messy project that involves a lot of glue, and paper, and stacks of heavy books. So, naturally my mum told me to clean it all up before I went to bed. And so naturally, because I was going to use it another time, I just sweeped the things aside, neatly, mind you, to the side of my desk. Everything was in a pile the size of an A4 page. And so, within two seconds, my cleaning was finished. I decided to go to sleep. BUT! Due to unforeseen circumstances, my mum decided to come in to discuss the rather pressing matters of transport for the next day. As she was walking out, she started shouting at me, what? What's all this? Why isn't your rubbish cleaned up? Is this 'clean?'. Now, I would have been fine with all of that, BUT she decided to sweep her hand by all of the stacks of paper to indicate her frustration, which in turn frustrated me further, because she just managed to sweep aside NUMEROUS amount of carefully made card-stock paper, and all their assorted little bits and pieces that were cut off. And do you know what a pain it is to pick those pieces off of the ground? Then this... BITCH just sweeps it all away, to make a point that it wasn't clean. Sure, call it unclean and whatever, but WHAT? If I'm meant to CLEAN IT UP after, DON'T make it harder for me to clean it up, if I was GOING to clean it up, then leave it in a nice pile LIKE IT WAS. So I needed to use the paper further, so I sighed, EXASPERATED that she had decided to so rudely un-clean what I had done. And then I said, in a rather annoyed tone 'Mum, if I'm going to clean it up, couldn't you have just left it in the pile it was, why did you have to sweep your hand across and make a mess?'. Then she blew her top.
She started to scream at me, because the one thing she HATES is logical backchat. No, not JUST backchatting, LOGICAL BACKCHAT. I've tried all sorts of backchatting from hurling insults back at her, al the way down to logical arguments, and funnily enough, she hates LOGICAL backchat more than she hates getting insulted. Anyways, she started screaming about how I was trying to get all up ion her face, and I was being disrespectful to her, and how I'm such a shit child because I'm backchatting her. Okok. BACK UP A FEW STEPS FROM THAT. If I came up to you, and dumped your rubbish bin you JUST CLEANED straight onto your bed, then I think you'd feel quite inclined to sigh and say something along the line of what I said. But then, no my mum was saying that I was such a stupid child and no NORMAL child would treat their parent with such disrespect. And blah blah blah. And it went on and on for a while, me arguing that it was your own damned fault that the argument is going on this long because you're refusing to admit that you're being an over-reacting bitch and that I'm entitled to having a little rant because you just messed up a carefully made pile of scrap paper that I'm going to use. After that little scene was over, I said 'Fine, whatever, I'm sorry, I needed that paper for later'.
My words then cannot describe how angry her face was.
To be continued...
TL;DR Fuck logical arguments with my Mum.
Never a day goes past in the Lee Household without the familiar screaming of two voices. Mine and my mother's. Now, in my mother's defence, usually, I fuck up sometime during the afterschool. But Honestly, I think she just wants to have a go at me. Either way, me and my mum are constantly rowing. And usually it ends up with me being hit, having to apologise for what I think is something rather unnecessary to get mad at, and my mother getting really pissed off for however long until bedtime. Now let us observe this rather interesting argument from Sunday night.So, I have this rather messy/not really messy project that involves a lot of glue, and paper, and stacks of heavy books. So, naturally my mum told me to clean it all up before I went to bed. And so naturally, because I was going to use it another time, I just sweeped the things aside, neatly, mind you, to the side of my desk. Everything was in a pile the size of an A4 page. And so, within two seconds, my cleaning was finished. I decided to go to sleep. BUT! Due to unforeseen circumstances, my mum decided to come in to discuss the rather pressing matters of transport for the next day. As she was walking out, she started shouting at me, what? What's all this? Why isn't your rubbish cleaned up? Is this 'clean?'. Now, I would have been fine with all of that, BUT she decided to sweep her hand by all of the stacks of paper to indicate her frustration, which in turn frustrated me further, because she just managed to sweep aside NUMEROUS amount of carefully made card-stock paper, and all their assorted little bits and pieces that were cut off. And do you know what a pain it is to pick those pieces off of the ground? Then this... BITCH just sweeps it all away, to make a point that it wasn't clean. Sure, call it unclean and whatever, but WHAT? If I'm meant to CLEAN IT UP after, DON'T make it harder for me to clean it up, if I was GOING to clean it up, then leave it in a nice pile LIKE IT WAS. So I needed to use the paper further, so I sighed, EXASPERATED that she had decided to so rudely un-clean what I had done. And then I said, in a rather annoyed tone 'Mum, if I'm going to clean it up, couldn't you have just left it in the pile it was, why did you have to sweep your hand across and make a mess?'. Then she blew her top.
She started to scream at me, because the one thing she HATES is logical backchat. No, not JUST backchatting, LOGICAL BACKCHAT. I've tried all sorts of backchatting from hurling insults back at her, al the way down to logical arguments, and funnily enough, she hates LOGICAL backchat more than she hates getting insulted. Anyways, she started screaming about how I was trying to get all up ion her face, and I was being disrespectful to her, and how I'm such a shit child because I'm backchatting her. Okok. BACK UP A FEW STEPS FROM THAT. If I came up to you, and dumped your rubbish bin you JUST CLEANED straight onto your bed, then I think you'd feel quite inclined to sigh and say something along the line of what I said. But then, no my mum was saying that I was such a stupid child and no NORMAL child would treat their parent with such disrespect. And blah blah blah. And it went on and on for a while, me arguing that it was your own damned fault that the argument is going on this long because you're refusing to admit that you're being an over-reacting bitch and that I'm entitled to having a little rant because you just messed up a carefully made pile of scrap paper that I'm going to use. After that little scene was over, I said 'Fine, whatever, I'm sorry, I needed that paper for later'.
My words then cannot describe how angry her face was.
To be continued...
TL;DR Fuck logical arguments with my Mum.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold
For all of those who have really shitty parents out there.
This is a post for you.
As a child, I used to be abused by my parents alot. Getting hit around by my mum for not being able to learn 8 x 7 at year two, getting hit by an abacus because my dad decided he would have a drunken rage, literally thrown out of the house for a while because my test results weren't satisfactory ( I got one easy question wrong), and having my hair pulled out. I'm not saying these things to try and make your problems with your parents look smaller, or insignificant. In fact, I think your problems are probably much worse than mine. I'm saying these things so that you know I understand how you feel. I know what it feels like to have your parents insult you at every little turn. They can be really nice to you at times, but then be a complete bitch in another. I know what it feels like. I once considered suicide because my mum was telling me how shit a child I was because I couldn't write neatly (she saw my friend's writing book, and then I countered with, you should see other people's writing, then she slapped me and said that who cares, there's a neater one in front of you you piece of shit). I hated nearly every waking moment, and dreaded each afterschool hour, for fear that the abuse and insults would come hurtling by again. But what I did wrong was very painfully obvious after. And I know, that my parents are hurling abuse at me, because that's just the only way they know how to discipline me, so that's why they keep calling me names, in the vain hope that the message will get through.
Now, I understand, by some words, the parent's aren't always hurling insults because you're doing something majorly wrong. I heard that sometimes they just get frustrated. And I don't know if that's the case with all of them, but sometimes, life for the parents is hard, and it goes down a shithole as well. Perhaps he had an off day, and you just got caught out badly, or maybe he's just angry over something. But I think the best thing we can do for them at that time, is to avoid them, and give them space, or try to make them feel better.
I'm by no means a good boy. It can be very easily argued that I'm perhaps one of the worst children a parent could have (come live invisibly in my house for two weeks and you'll know what I'm talking about. My Friend-Me relationship habits and my House/Parents-Me relationship habits are completely different). But there is one thing that my parents always tell me I can do. And that's understand. Even if so many times over, I get the message, but don't execute an action to fix my mistake, after my initial fit of anger at the words they hurl at me, I understand what they are trying to do for me.
Our parents have a time limit on this earth, as do we. But their only goal in life, after they have kids, is to hope that they can shape their kid into a success. Not only for themselves, but so the child isn't ignored, and dismissed. They want' the best for their child, and maybe they're not the best at explaining what they want from their child. Some parents are afraid to talk to their children about things like that. But most of all, they love us. And In turn, the best we can do for them is to understand, and try the best we can, until the inevitable cycle is closed, and yours slowly fades too.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try...
To fix you...
Yall my greatest friends.
Thanks. :)
This is a post for you.
As a child, I used to be abused by my parents alot. Getting hit around by my mum for not being able to learn 8 x 7 at year two, getting hit by an abacus because my dad decided he would have a drunken rage, literally thrown out of the house for a while because my test results weren't satisfactory ( I got one easy question wrong), and having my hair pulled out. I'm not saying these things to try and make your problems with your parents look smaller, or insignificant. In fact, I think your problems are probably much worse than mine. I'm saying these things so that you know I understand how you feel. I know what it feels like to have your parents insult you at every little turn. They can be really nice to you at times, but then be a complete bitch in another. I know what it feels like. I once considered suicide because my mum was telling me how shit a child I was because I couldn't write neatly (she saw my friend's writing book, and then I countered with, you should see other people's writing, then she slapped me and said that who cares, there's a neater one in front of you you piece of shit). I hated nearly every waking moment, and dreaded each afterschool hour, for fear that the abuse and insults would come hurtling by again. But what I did wrong was very painfully obvious after. And I know, that my parents are hurling abuse at me, because that's just the only way they know how to discipline me, so that's why they keep calling me names, in the vain hope that the message will get through.
Now, I understand, by some words, the parent's aren't always hurling insults because you're doing something majorly wrong. I heard that sometimes they just get frustrated. And I don't know if that's the case with all of them, but sometimes, life for the parents is hard, and it goes down a shithole as well. Perhaps he had an off day, and you just got caught out badly, or maybe he's just angry over something. But I think the best thing we can do for them at that time, is to avoid them, and give them space, or try to make them feel better.
I'm by no means a good boy. It can be very easily argued that I'm perhaps one of the worst children a parent could have (come live invisibly in my house for two weeks and you'll know what I'm talking about. My Friend-Me relationship habits and my House/Parents-Me relationship habits are completely different). But there is one thing that my parents always tell me I can do. And that's understand. Even if so many times over, I get the message, but don't execute an action to fix my mistake, after my initial fit of anger at the words they hurl at me, I understand what they are trying to do for me.
Our parents have a time limit on this earth, as do we. But their only goal in life, after they have kids, is to hope that they can shape their kid into a success. Not only for themselves, but so the child isn't ignored, and dismissed. They want' the best for their child, and maybe they're not the best at explaining what they want from their child. Some parents are afraid to talk to their children about things like that. But most of all, they love us. And In turn, the best we can do for them is to understand, and try the best we can, until the inevitable cycle is closed, and yours slowly fades too.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try...
To fix you...
Yall my greatest friends.
Thanks. :)
Monday, November 4, 2013
Let's Get A Few Things Straight Here
I'm going to set things straight here.
1) DON'T. EVER. SOME. to me with your emotional problems, because while I tell you words of comfort. I'm thinking 'So what are you going to do about it princess?'. I DON'T like all the stress that comes with having friends who have all theses massive emotional problems that invade their life. I stress out even worse, because frankly, I don't deal well with that kind of pressure that comes with having a friend come up to you and lean on your shoulder to cry on. My emotional problems? A few parts silence, perhaps a bit of crying, a dark mood, a few well placed punches in a pillow and then boom. I'm over it. WHY? BECAUSE THERE IS NO NEED, FOR ME TO HANG MY HEAD DOWN, AND CONTEMPLATE ABOUT HOW BAD THE SITUATION IS. I know I'm bing inconsiderate, I know I'm being shallow and conceited, but this is just my opinion. As much as I love my friends, and feel like you should all lead happy, successful lives, if you hang your head down and downcast your eyes for a few days or weeks, as soon as you hit a bump in the road, that a few more days or weeks until that problem gets solved. And even if your feeling like shit, go talk to someone about it. Don't sit there being sad. Go talk to someone. Or at least put on a brave face for your friends. Even if you life is in a complete shithole, and you feel completely downcast, try to put on a brave face. Because that's how I feel about my own problems. For me, sharing my own problems with other people is one of the worst things I could do to you. And no, I don't want your sympathy, I don't want questions asking 'Why?' because that's just the way it is. Id est quod est
I just never liked the prospect of shouldering a problem with a friend, because that's agony my friend has to go through. It's like shouldering off your own problems, so your weight is lighter. But then your friend is shouldering that same weight that was agonising you. Just because I'm sad, it feels like I'm putting the weight off my back, my friends, so I can escape unscathed. I don't like that. So. Just. Don't come to me with your problems with the world. Your First World Problems. Your whatever, emotional problems you'll have. Because all You'll get is a face full of sympathy, and a heart with absolutely none.
2) I AM NOT MY SISTER. AND IF ANYONE, INCLUDING TEACHERS, EVER EXPECTED ANYTHING OF ME THAT WERE OF MY SISTER'S STANDARDS, THEN HAHA. YOU'LL BE SEVERELY DISAPPOINTED.
Ever since today's discussion in Sose about Only child and shit/. Inside I was bubbling with hate. Okay. I absolutely love my sister. I probably have a better relationship with my sister than others do with their siblings, but at the same time, I just wished she wasn't so GOD DAMNED GOOD AT EVERYTHING SHE DID! Ever since I hit the road on Lyneham, I always felt like I was trudging behind in her giant footsteps, always in her shadow she left at Lyneham High. I feel like the teachers all judge me for not being her. I also feel like my parents hate me for not being her. But. the point is. I'M NOT SUNNY.
3) Shoutout to my korean bestie who's birthday is tomorrow! You're turning into a big boy now! :D 16, the sweet 16. You can drive, do stuff ;) ;) and in two years you can drink alcohol :D
ALFRED AND BIG N DAWG, I'm holding you guys to that promise you made. On my 18th birthder, you guys are taking me out for a drink ;)
4) See Y'all Tomoz ;)
1) DON'T. EVER. SOME. to me with your emotional problems, because while I tell you words of comfort. I'm thinking 'So what are you going to do about it princess?'. I DON'T like all the stress that comes with having friends who have all theses massive emotional problems that invade their life. I stress out even worse, because frankly, I don't deal well with that kind of pressure that comes with having a friend come up to you and lean on your shoulder to cry on. My emotional problems? A few parts silence, perhaps a bit of crying, a dark mood, a few well placed punches in a pillow and then boom. I'm over it. WHY? BECAUSE THERE IS NO NEED, FOR ME TO HANG MY HEAD DOWN, AND CONTEMPLATE ABOUT HOW BAD THE SITUATION IS. I know I'm bing inconsiderate, I know I'm being shallow and conceited, but this is just my opinion. As much as I love my friends, and feel like you should all lead happy, successful lives, if you hang your head down and downcast your eyes for a few days or weeks, as soon as you hit a bump in the road, that a few more days or weeks until that problem gets solved. And even if your feeling like shit, go talk to someone about it. Don't sit there being sad. Go talk to someone. Or at least put on a brave face for your friends. Even if you life is in a complete shithole, and you feel completely downcast, try to put on a brave face. Because that's how I feel about my own problems. For me, sharing my own problems with other people is one of the worst things I could do to you. And no, I don't want your sympathy, I don't want questions asking 'Why?' because that's just the way it is. Id est quod est
I just never liked the prospect of shouldering a problem with a friend, because that's agony my friend has to go through. It's like shouldering off your own problems, so your weight is lighter. But then your friend is shouldering that same weight that was agonising you. Just because I'm sad, it feels like I'm putting the weight off my back, my friends, so I can escape unscathed. I don't like that. So. Just. Don't come to me with your problems with the world. Your First World Problems. Your whatever, emotional problems you'll have. Because all You'll get is a face full of sympathy, and a heart with absolutely none.
2) I AM NOT MY SISTER. AND IF ANYONE, INCLUDING TEACHERS, EVER EXPECTED ANYTHING OF ME THAT WERE OF MY SISTER'S STANDARDS, THEN HAHA. YOU'LL BE SEVERELY DISAPPOINTED.
Ever since today's discussion in Sose about Only child and shit/. Inside I was bubbling with hate. Okay. I absolutely love my sister. I probably have a better relationship with my sister than others do with their siblings, but at the same time, I just wished she wasn't so GOD DAMNED GOOD AT EVERYTHING SHE DID! Ever since I hit the road on Lyneham, I always felt like I was trudging behind in her giant footsteps, always in her shadow she left at Lyneham High. I feel like the teachers all judge me for not being her. I also feel like my parents hate me for not being her. But. the point is. I'M NOT SUNNY.
3) Shoutout to my korean bestie who's birthday is tomorrow! You're turning into a big boy now! :D 16, the sweet 16. You can drive, do stuff ;) ;) and in two years you can drink alcohol :D
ALFRED AND BIG N DAWG, I'm holding you guys to that promise you made. On my 18th birthder, you guys are taking me out for a drink ;)
4) See Y'all Tomoz ;)
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