The Aim of This Blog

Hi again~

So today I felt really stressed out and retarded, so I decided to write bout this, the aim of this blog, and what my title means in this post. Happy days :D

So. This morning I had three things to remember. Report. Bibliography. And Handout. Of those three things. I managed to remember t print off only one of them. Don't ask me HOW I forgot the other two since they were all linked, I just did. Right now I'm rubbing my temples at the epitome of idiocy shown in this morning. I have this problem. This reallllly REEAAALLLLLLY big problem which kinda restricts me. I am lazy. AS FUCK. Like you may say, 'Oh no you're not, you're like... really hyperactive!'. I mean when it comes to work. I'm hyperactive, physically, but when it comes to work, my mind just blanks out, I get this blank expression on my face, and then I start to ponder about my life. Then I snap back into reality. For a second, and then go back and sink into this mine of thoughts and reflect and mine out those thoughts from my head. Like this blog, all I'm doing is - hypothetically speaking- is mining out those thoughts, and transferring them onto my this blog. And then you guys read it. And then I write with this really blank expression on my face and sometimes don't even process half of the things I say on this blog. Sometimes something stupid slips out of my mind. But that's just me. And you guys know me, I'm that really fast acting hyperactive dwarf who goes around doing hyperactivities. :P.
Oh a second note on that. Dong Hoon, All I've ever really been is just jealous of you. You may feel like, because your parents made you grow up without a computer, or phone, or the things I take for granted, you have really good study habits. I don't. And I'm jealous of that. I know I said before, I don't want to spend my life waiting around for my test results, just so I can go do another one, but what I mean is. I don't want to do that, because I know I'll fail - rather epically- and then get pushed around by my parents, get called names. Get judging looks from my friends when I say 'Shit. My assignment' and watch it happen to me all over again. Every day of my life. And It hurts. And I hate it. That's why I want out. Living a sheltered life under my roof, with all my things I take for granted, because of that, my life now crumbles around me. Whereas yours, although seemingly restricted and bad at times, you have a good time at school. You have proper friends. And you succeed. And that's why I hate you.

On a more positive note, the aim of this blog. So. Let's make things clear here. I'm not just here to spite the guy who basically made me close down my blog because I hated him so much and I wanted him to die because he was being a dick about my old blog. No. It's nothing like that. I'm here, to say the things I never would have said in my older blog. That past blog was my emotional crutch. But I also created an image that I didn't want. I unintentionally created this image which forced me into a corner, eventuall breaking me. You can see this in the last few posts, how desperate I was getting.
To make it a bit easier to understand, let's say.... That old blog was like my cocoon. Restrictive, uncomfortable, and very easy to break. This one is like a butterfly, slightly more vulnerable, but much more beautiful (not really) and much more freedom. That's why I think I actually like this blog better, because even though I only have a few people reading this blog at a time, they don't judge. They don't point fingers and say 'That was stupid'. They read. And they leave. And they come back again.
They watch the butterfly. And the butterfly flies away. Much more freedom. Much more happiness.

And finally, as a smaller paragraph. The title of this blog. Over the Rainbow and Under the Hill. What does that mean? It makes slightly more sense in my head than it does in yours most likely XD

Somwhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Lyrics from the Song 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow'. http://www.youtube.com/watch?

 v=PSZxmZmBfn Go watch this. I <3 it.

But yes, the part of the title was based on this song. I can relate. I want to get away from this place. I want to wish, and have my dreams become my reality. I want to be my own world. That's why this part of the title is based on this song.

Well, I'm the same kid I was
Out in the schoolyard

Hallowed my pockets with sticks
From the parking lot
Alone

Though I walked alone
I was sure there was somebody
There on my shoulder, quietly guiding me
Home

I counted to 1000, 2000, and even
Math game and nicknames for friends
That I rarely meet
But years roll along, along so graciously
And so gracefully we age into infinity
On

Lyrics from the song A House Under the Hill. Once again. Something just pulled me to this song. And then I realised. I felt like I kind of knew what this song was talking about. My Primary school life wasn't exactly the most spectacular life. I certainly hated nearly every single moment of my years from Year 2~6. And I just. Cried when I first heard this song.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96BO8YJsMyo Go have a listen.

Y'all be well now
-J <3

*Edit I edited it because it was kinda hard to see the lyrics. So, sorry (^^;)

Hi.

Hi Dong Hoooooooonnnnnnnnnnn....

This feels like Deja Vu. Since when, and how did you find out about my blog...? Anyways. Sup guys, I'm back. Hi, my two man (and woman) audience. How are you today? I'm feeling much better. I had a horrible cold yesterday. Woke up with the most annoying headache. My head felt like someone was pounding a bass drum from the inside, then being really obnoxious and amplifying the sound. So, for about half the day, me head felt like a walking dubstep machine. That was a pleasant half a day. And so, For the morning and part of the afternoon, I was walking around aimlessly like a zombie. Eating, reading, sleeping, eat some more, lose your life for a bit on the computer, and back to reading and sleeping. For the rest of the day, I did nothing, but repeat everything above, just in a more awake and less zombie-like state. Yes, I managed to recover from my sugar overdose hangover and my cold in half a day. As you can probably tell, I have a very regeneration rate. I recover from most small sicknesses within a day or two. Worse illnesses go on for three or more days. But meh, not you guy's problems XD

So, today I felt like writing about myself. I can fully assure you, that you don't know me too well. What you're all scratching at is the surface, the shell that contains a lot of turmoil and mixed emotions.
Firstly, let's start off with my outer layer. I like to call myself a Con Man. Why? Because I find it sooooooo easy to completely rip everyone off with my emotions. Let me rephrase that. That was explained badly. I find it way too easy for me to all trick you and fool you with my body language. I have absolutely no idea, but it's just soooooo easy to make a fool of somebody with my emotions. But I usually don't. But I will tell you one thing. Now, Dong Hoon, Beth, this is a secret .... ;) You know how I always am able to make people laugh by being stupid like falling over in my seat, or falling off my trumpet, or nearly tripping over myself? That's all a lie XD . I like to entertain people, but I'm not witty, so slapstick does it for me. Trust me, if I wanted to, I wouldn't fall off of my trumpet. Stat. That's just one example. I can fake sickness as well. Remember in the first term of Year 9? That Assignment where we had to make our own original product? Well, if you remember correctly, I went out 'sick' to 'sickbay' because I was 'sick. The real reason was because Nick had left his USB in Room 30. So I went down to 'sickbay' (Cough *ROOM 30* Cough), taking a detour into sickbay to make sure I was actually put down as 'sick', and went off and found Nick's USB. Some kind year tens in the sickbay covered for me while I was meant to be in sickbay. There were a lot of people there that day :P. And so due to my brave adventures, we managed to get Nick's USB. However, my pride was short lived as we didn't have to present that day. That was a balls moment for me.

My next layer, also known as Inner Turmoil, not peace. Okay, aside from my humorous layer of slapstick and adorability, there lies a slight madness and insanity. Sometimes I get these really weird urges to strangle something, or to destroy something, or to actually kill something. So that seems slightly unnatural, but what's even more unnatural is, these weird urges come completely out of the blue. Soooooooooooooooo...... call me a psychopath, call me a murderer, I don't really care, why? Because it's me. And I'm sure you all understand. Right?

The third and final layer. Me. It defines who I am, and what my actions are. And honestly, all I  want to do is settle down with a few of my best friends, or even get some friends, invite them over. And have a nice life. Why? Because Life is too short for all it's trivialities. I don't want to spend my life in a chair, waiting for my next exam's results so I can go do another exam. I know it's not the most optimal life, but it's the life I want to lead. And who in the world has a right to deny me this?

Y'all be well now
-J

Well.... This is Awkward

Hi.
You may know me from my other blog. And if you know me, then you will also realise how short a time is has been since I decided to shut down my other blog. But for now, I'll give you a very short description of what happened. If you're a friend who found this blog by accident, well.... Hi. (^^)/ I'm back already (*^^*)

So, brief short description of what happened for those who don't know. Someone, who will go as the person He-who-shall-not-be-named, decided he would post a rather scathing comment on another one of my friend's blogs. The scathing comment was directed at me, and although I really shouldn't have let it affect me that much, it hurt like crazy when I read the comment. So, I took down that blog. Well. I think although he was being a leetle Bitch when he said the comment, in a very bizarre twisted way, he was right. But I'm still not forgiving him for what he said. I don't care if he apologizes, I'm a vengeful person, and I hold grudges very well. But all aside, I'm generally pretty nice (Aside from me being a bit physically aggressive :P )

Now that that little intro is over, how have you guys been? I've been kinda sad/depressed/lonely/ rather stressed, but don't let that bother you. I've started this new blog, much to be like Dong Hoon. I know I say I hate alot of people, but that's just my way of saying 'You're really my best friend'. Why am I so weird like that? Well. I used to be bullied a lot. From years 3~6 I was constantly bullied. Sometimes it was a fistfight, other times it was racism and verbal bullying. That experience made me very grudging to show my emotion or affection to anyone, lest the bullies get a hold of that and start teasing me for that as well. So even my own emotions became an enemy for me as well. Either way, I survived through the brutality of the bullying and harassment and I made it to High School. So, I have this dark past, of holding very bad grudges, *savagely* hospitalising somebody, and having a bad reputation for a temper. I try to fix these things, but It doesn't really work when you start to get harassed again in Year 7 XD It was only for a short while though.... Right, getting off topic. Back onto topic. Yeah, more about me.

I like piano, although my parents say I'm absolute rubbish at it, I like to believe that I'm not, but comparatively to many other people (I am). I like my friends, I enjoy the company. And Now, emotionally, I'm rather a fragile person. I can either get very hurt from a small careless remark, or be stone cold and not notice someone's emotions and say something rather inappropriate for the situation. Forgive me if I do say something stupid for the situation.

More about me, I'm absolute rubbish at nearly every subject, except for Musicks and Phys Ed. :P All the practical stuff. I like my practical stuff. It helps me focus. And it keeps me more focused than reading a textbook and trying to study.

All in all. I have nothing to say, but that was a really short break in between.

Y'all be well now.
-J